You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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