erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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