i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I want to be your penis for a week.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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