So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
