no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
