wanna go halves on a baby?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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