sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
