Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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