I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
