my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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