just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
