Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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