so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
