did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We left the knife in your bed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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