yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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