I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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