I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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