let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
