apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
