i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A+ Viking dick
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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