I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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