Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
