Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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