did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
