I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
