I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
