Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
