why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
