She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
