you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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