I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
