she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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