I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
