On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dick very happy bro
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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