I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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