you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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