Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
