school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
