good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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