If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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