I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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