You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize