I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
