I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
