I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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