Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
