I wannas sexs uuuuu
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the day after is always just damage control
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
