Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
