In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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