If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
