I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
accomplished twins. life is a go
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
