i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There's a naked man in my car right now.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
