zippers are such a cool invention
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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