I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Fuck appropriateness.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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