I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
