I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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