It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
