Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
