Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
